Every Day Was Ordinary

I am afraid of being named. Every day was ordinary. I’d wake up and pretend
to be a boy. It barely touches me now. A life is an open thing
leaking out into
the air around it. Each panic attack
had its own frequency. I can’t wait to be able
to say no to all of them. A line of people
swaying in place like grass. This wasn’t a decision. All I’ve lost is blood,
my old home,
bits of who I used to be
embedded in stucco. Even as I flow from
street to street
wrapped in white roses
I remember who lives here. One is always emerging
into something. A green light. It’s just what happens
when you realize
how far away stars are. Eventually I never
regained consciousness.  
I feel fear as a blue sky. I memorized the language. I am afraid of being seen. I’d go to sleep and dream
of being a woman.  
Artwork   © Clayton Shonkwiler Out of something else. I traveled by light
to get here. How old the universe is.